Nightmares

What can one do when Nightmares are destroying the little sleep one try to get.

I wish I knew the answer for this but I do not...
I have been haunted by nightmares for a while now... they have grown in strength and length and sometimes I wonder if I am ever gonna be free from these damnable haunts...

I get maybe 2 or 3 hours sleep per 24 hour cycle and then those damn Nightmares come right back to haunt me.... I really wish to sleep in order to recover strength but they wont let me!

I feel down, cold.. rotten and a bit broken Inside...the worst time of the year is at hand...
The Depression months have started....

For those whom I know might read this I apologize for being this way, I cant help it as everything just seem to be going wrong no matter what I do at the moment.
I know I should not be on-line at all in this mood but going off-line would make things worse as I would be so very alone with nobody really to talk to about how I feel deep inside...

Emotional mess is nothing I can share with my family as they would unfortunately not understand how I feel deep down in my core... sometimes I wonder if anyone can as I can not understand fully how I feel myself ...

I do not know what I wish to do or what I want...

200$ a month I already pay the damn Collection Agencies or what ever you call them in english I have no energey or lust to find out what proper name is... for books with I never orderd and I have stated this MANY times now and Just gettin fed up with everything.

I dare not answer the phone as they started to call daily about their money and it is making me so very depressed... but not like they care...
I paid this bill back in 2006 and now their back for more money since they sold it on to another firm that collect bills from people... and this firm sell it to another who sell it to the first...
I am fucked no matter what I try to do!

Is my life no fucked enough as it is?
This is destroying me slowly but safly and i cant do anything about it...


What am I to do?

If I am online I will depress others with my dark mood and if I am offline I will just feel worse.
I need help and I dont know were or how to get it...

I have a hope and light left ... they know whom they are...
Without their support I would not be here at this time